Amy is a seveteen year old good looking japanese girl. She lives together with her parentes in a economical house in the USA. Her real name is Emiko but her friends always call her Amy.
She is the main character of the novel "The War between the Classes".
Her familiy is poor and her parentes prefer living in a traditional way. They want Amy to take time with japanese teenager because they don´t like american childrens very much.
Amy´s boyfriend called Adam is also seventeen but he lives a completely different life than Amy.
He comes from a rich american family and that´s the reason why Amy´s father doesen´t like him very much.
Adam and Amy know each other from school and so they learn to love each other.
Amy´s parentes are very strict so she must live with many rules which doesn´t belong to her imaginations.
When Adam takes her to the dance she was exited to have a nice evening but her parentes said she have to come home right after the dance.(p.8 l.23)
But they forget the time.
When Amy comes home her parentes were still waiting. The punishment for coming to late was that Amy was not allowed to see Adam for a whole week.(p.15.l.4)
It was a disaster for her and she felt dissapoined because Adam means everything to her.
So all in all Amy is a very lovely girl who loves her family and friends. She respects the japanese taditions and know how to live with them.
Hi Laura,
AntwortenLöschenyour characterization does contain the most important points, but you should work on structure and language. Some of the information is misplaced (e.g., the phrase "She is the main character..." is totally unconnected to what follows - you should give that information at the beginning, not "in between" other statements), and you should try to be objective ("good-looking" is a bit on the subjective side ;-).
I'll just give you an overview of the language mistakes; this list could help you to improve:
- parents (spelling = sp)
- Japanese, American capitalized
- one child, two children !!
"to take time with japanese teenager" -> I don't understand what you mean! Maybe "to spend time with Japanese teenagers"?!
- better: "His life is completely different from Amy's"
- doesn't (sp)
- the "so" in the sentence "Adam and Amy know each other" doesn't make sense. "so" indicates a causality
- many rules which don't (plural!)
- I don't understand the "imaginations" part. What do you want to say?
- tense: "is excited" (also: spelling!)-> you've got problems with the tense in the following sentences! Stick to the simple present!
- "her parents tell her that she has..." (3rd pers-pl 's')
"disappointed" (sp)
"traditions" (sp)
- "a very lovely girl" is not objective, either! Furthermore, it is not PRECISE! Try to find better words, like 'obedient', 'accommodating', 'pensive'...
- Last sentence: 3rd pers-sg 's'
Basically, you need to work on your language (esp. the points mentioned above), and you should concentrate on the important bits of information. For example, you almost summarize what happens after the dance, but your task was to write a characterization, not a summary! Concentrate on the character in a characterization, and keep the rest short.
I will ask all of you to sign up for a "buddy blog" tomorrow that you comment on on a regular basis. We should ask someone who's good with structure to comment on yours.
Don't get too disappointed because I found so many mistakes - these are all mistakes we can work on!
Greetings,
Ms Mettjes
Hi Laura,
AntwortenLöschenYou are one of my buddy blogs so I read your block.
I think Mrs. Mettjes is right. But don´t be sad, your next Entry will be better ;)
Greetings,
Jan Haltermann
It seems to me like a 6 yr old wrote this
AntwortenLöschen